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The three-headed hydra of apathy, envy and fear has the workout you need.

Stressed? Depressed? Unsure? Watch your cares and pounds melt away with the three-headed hydra workout

The “Three-Headed Hydra” Workout

Why be fearful when you can feel fabulous? The three-headed hydra of apathy, envy and fear has the perfect workout for you. Watch those extra pounds and pesky worries about humanity melt away. Allow me to demonstrate.

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Step 1: The Book Burn Twirl

Step 1: The Book Burn Twirl: Hold in each hand a copy of the 2.9 pound book 100% Community: Ensuring the ten vital services for surviving and thriving. Do NOT open books (ever). Instead, step to the right and wave the books in a small circle for one minute. Feel a sense of accomplishment knowing that book twirling, as opposed to reading, is burning away the calories and brain cells.

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Step 2: The Net Numbing Nod

Step 2: The Net Numbing Nod: Hold in one hand your mobile and the other your laptop. Move to the left then stare at the mobile for 10 minutes. Make sure it shows talking heads on your favorite “news” show, while streaming your dance tunes. Now look at your laptop for 30 minutes, showing your favorite HBO series. Feel a sense of calm as your screens fill your mind with disconnected clutter, rather than being used to connect you with health equity and social justice activities.

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The hydra head of fear demonstrates Step 3: The Banana Pudding Posture

Step 3: The Banana Pudding Posture: Hold a spoon in one hand and the pudding in the other. (Recommended: Magnolia Bakery Banana Pudding* from NYC.) Every 30 seconds bring the spoon to the pudding, then to mouth. Savor the taste. With each swallow, know that without changing anything in your life, the world gets better. At least your world.

The hydra’s workout is all about you focusing exclusively on you. And stopping there.

* Allergic to bananas and whipped cream? Substitute pudding with white wine.

The “100% Community” Workout

As you may know, the three-headed hydra workout has been around for decades, as some call it a national pastime. If you care to try something fresh to create a new lemon-scented lifestyle, I recommend the 100% COMMUNITY WORKOUT. Far from easy, it’s the ultimate exercise to push your limits and transform you and your community. Ready to take on the 100% challenge and give it your all? I hope so.

Note: This article is not intended as expert health advice. Please consult your local healthcare provider for the right exercise program (if such a provider is accessible without high costs and/or long waiting times). Ask if the three-headed hydra workout, with pudding, is right for you. If yes, visit: www.magnoliabakery.com

The future is what we make it. Join the evolution.

Please excuse any typos as I construct an article at 3am on only one cup of Joe. These stories are mine and mine alone. I do not represent any organization here. If one of my illustrations looks like a real human or hydra, that’s total coincidence. Words and images ©Dominic Cappello but share with everyone you know. Any questions? The 100% COMMUNITY WORKOUT awaits: www.tenvitalservices.org

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